Selena Gomez on Her Relationship Journey – “I’ve made mistakes.” With those heartfelt words, Selena Gomez is offering fans a rare and deeply personal look into her romantic past. The global pop star and actress recently opened up about her relationship history, growth, and the lessons she’s learned on her path to love and self-acceptance.

In a candid appearance on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, Selena didn’t shy away from discussing her emotional evolution. As someone who’s been in the spotlight since childhood and faced intense public scrutiny over her high-profile relationships, this honest reflection marks a meaningful turning point—not just for her, but for many fans navigating love and healing.
Selena Gomez on Her Relationship Journey
Key Information | Details |
---|---|
Who: | Selena Gomez, singer, actress, entrepreneur |
What: | Opened up about past relationship mistakes and personal growth |
Where: | On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast |
When: | March 2025 |
Main Takeaway: | She spent 5 years alone to “collect herself” before finding love with Benny Blanco |
Why It Matters: | Offers a real-life example of emotional healing and relationship maturity |
Official Link: | People.com Full Interview |
Selena Gomez’s honesty about her relationship journey is both refreshing and inspiring. In a world that often glamorizes perfect love stories, her willingness to admit missteps, take time to grow, and find genuine connection offers a valuable blueprint—for fans, professionals, and anyone striving for healthier relationships.
Selena Gomez’s Journey Through Love and Self-Discovery
The Star’s Past Relationships
Selena Gomez’s relationship history is no secret. From her early romance with Justin Bieber to more recent flings, the singer has had her love life dissected by the media for over a decade. But behind the headlines, there was a young woman quietly learning and growing.
“I was very reactive,” Gomez admitted. “I think that’s why I was alone for five years — because I really needed to collect myself.”
This statement isn’t just about taking a break from dating. It’s about emotional maturity, recognizing patterns, and doing the inner work to break them.
The Power of Taking Time Alone
Spending five years alone, Gomez explained, allowed her to reflect, understand her emotional triggers, and reevaluate what she wanted in a partner.
This period of solitude wasn’t marked by loneliness, but by personal growth. She leaned into therapy, self-care, friendships, and building a life she could enjoy alone. It was a reset—not just romantically, but holistically.
This insight is valuable for both young people navigating first loves and professionals juggling high-stress lives. Taking time to recalibrate your emotional needs is not just wise—it’s necessary.
Enter Benny Blanco: A Healthy Relationship Model
How They Met
Selena and Benny Blanco, a Grammy-nominated music producer, were friends long before romance blossomed in 2023. Their relationship officially became public in late 2024, and the two are now happily engaged.
What made the difference this time?
“He was patient with me,” Gomez shared. Unlike past relationships that were chaotic or reactive, Benny offered consistency, kindness, and a calming presence. “He’s not reactive, and I’ve learned how to communicate better because of him.”
What Makes This Relationship Different?
Here’s what Gomez says makes their relationship work:
- Open communication: No guessing games. They talk things out.
- Emotional safety: She feels safe being her authentic self.
- Shared values: From family to work ethic, they’re aligned.
- Mutual respect: Both partners honor each other’s careers, space, and individuality.
Professionals can take note here. Whether it’s in love or leadership, emotional intelligence and mutual respect are the foundation of any strong relationship.
Life Lessons From Selena’s Love Story
Selena’s relationship journey isn’t just celebrity gossip—it’s a real-life case study in emotional growth. Here are some key takeaways anyone can apply:
1. Reflection Is a Superpower
Taking time to heal is not a setback—it’s a strategy. Instead of jumping from one relationship to another, give yourself room to process and grow.
2. Therapy Works
Selena has spoken openly about her experience with therapy. Mental health professionals offer tools that can help you understand yourself better—especially in relationships.
Need help getting started? Check out MentalHealth.gov or the American Psychological Association for resources.
3. Know Your Non-Negotiables
Before entering a relationship, identify what you truly need—whether that’s emotional availability, stability, or shared values.
4. Be Honest With Yourself and Others
Selena’s ability to say “I’ve made mistakes” is not weakness—it’s strength. Owning your past allows you to shape your future.
5. Growth is Continuous
Even in a happy relationship, growth doesn’t stop. Selena and Benny reportedly still attend couples counseling and openly support each other’s individual healing journeys. This shows that even healthy relationships require ongoing care.
A Professional Lens on Relationship Growth
While Selena’s story is deeply personal, it also reflects broader professional insights on emotional intelligence, communication, and relationship dynamics.
What Psychologists Say
According to a 2024 study from the University of Michigan on emotional reactivity and relationship satisfaction:
“Couples who actively work on regulating emotional responses tend to report 30% higher relationship satisfaction than those who don’t.”
This aligns with Gomez’s narrative. She became less reactive—and her relationship satisfaction improved dramatically.
Related Tip for Professionals
For those working in high-pressure careers—like healthcare, tech, or education—relationship stress can spill into professional life. Practicing emotional regulation in relationships can enhance focus, teamwork, and resilience in the workplace.
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FAQs
Why did Selena Gomez stay single for five years?
Selena chose to remain single to focus on emotional healing, personal growth, and resetting her approach to relationships.
Who is Selena Gomez’s fiancé?
Selena is engaged to Benny Blanco, a successful music producer. They started dating in 2023 and announced their engagement in December 2024.
What did Selena mean by being “reactive”?
She was referring to emotionally charged, impulsive responses in relationships—often leading to misunderstandings or conflict.
How can I become less reactive in my own relationships?
Try mindfulness, therapy, journaling, and conscious communication. Learning to pause before responding is a game-changer.
Where can I listen to Selena Gomez’s full interview?
You can catch her full conversation on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast via People.com.
What lessons can professionals take from this?
Emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and consistent communication are as essential in the workplace as they are in relationships.